Let the Mysteries Be

You do not have to solve the problem to be able to move away from it and forward.

You need only to move.

To do something you have not done before.

You can’t plan you way through it to the other side, knowing every next step, fully in control.

You don’t need to eat every thing in your plate to feel satisfied.

You can be light about your own experience and stories. You do not have to carry your past around, lugging and dragging bags and boxes and all manner of heavy stuff tied to your ankles, weighing down every thought.

You do not have to hold on tight for dear life to what you love , for fear it will not leave you.

You don’t have to go looking for what is of value in you, in your life. It is lost nor buried in the clutter of your dreams and disappointments.

There is nothing left to prove and no one whose opinions will determine your fate.

You can let yourself out the door. The judges whose opinions you’ve been loyal to, want you to stay beholden to them, but what calls to you, is stronger.

You can’t fix the situation or the people or even yourself.

You can’t get to clarity by sorting everything out once and for all and putting it neatly in one place, with everything clearly labeled.

So much in this life is messy and incomprehensible, but also this is where beauty takes hold.

And grace.

And creativity.

And growth.

You won’t get there by understanding where you went wrong, and making a plan to never make that mistake again, to be wiser next time.

No. You move forward by moving with you body, voice, being in this moment. Breathing.

Taking in the here and now.

Feeling what you feel. All if it.

Reaching with or without confidence, toward what makes you feel alive. What makes you laugh and remember how good it is to laugh.

Your old identities or plans, the things that once gave your life value, you can let go. Let them be gloriously unfinished.

You are still alive.

You’re not done.

In fact you’re just beginning,

this time, as yourself, unapologetic.

Perhaps a real badass.

What comes next won’t be perfect or as imagined.

You will make mistakes, bad ones, again, but they will be different than the ones you’ve made before, and that is progress, evolution, growth.

You will likely experience heart break which will let you know the vastness of your own heart and its capacity to love.

Every feeling you dare, every love you risk deepens the love that is around you, all that is within you.

The gaps are openings. You will leap into them, run, fling yourself with open arms and wild enthusiasm, towards what you love, the love that is there, has always been there, waiting for you.

And the gaps, the mysteries, the disappointments and heartaches, the traumas, the obsessive habits, the things you let be and let go of will create a powerful current, a strong wind, that will carry you through a doorway, or a portal into another dimension, where you will feel and know

In your bones,

In your cells,

In the core of your being

In the sound of your own voice,

the starlight within you